Must keep busy.

Talk about a change of lifestyle. Things have been so different. I woke this morning and there was nothing. No one. Just me. Quiet house. It’s such a different feeling. There used to always be someone to wake up for. Knowing that I would see someone either when I woke up or if not then, then at the end of the day. Now the whole day breathes emptiness. I’m as good as single. Now I don’t want you to think I’m saying how lonely I am all the time. I’m just noting changes in my life. I go shopping and buy food thinking how good a meal would be, then when I cook it, I have to put half of it (if not more) in the fridge as leftovers. Sitting down to eat, watch tv, or whatever is different. I have been reading like crazy. I’m finally catching up on the Dark Tower series which I neglected for so long. Don’t know why I did. I am so enjoying reading them. And the history of the last 4 books has come back to me within the first chapter. It’s almost like I didn’t skip reading them for years. I have been going to the gym a lot. It’s an easy way to kill 2 hours. I never thought I would have so much free time. And it’s not just because Holly and Gavin are not here. It’s because I’m kicking a bad and destructive habit (addiction). I didn’t realize how much time it was taking from me. I missed years of all the better things I could have been doing. I finally remembered to bring my iPod to the gym so I could listen to music. But the next morning when I tried to update it with new songs, my computer told me that my iPod had problems. So I took it to the Apple store and they told me the same thing. Only they elaborated and said that it had major problems and could not be fixed. “It’s dead”, they said. Sigh. So now I have a new iPod. It had more memory, is color, has a bigger screen, plays videos, is black, and I didn’t have to pay for most of it. Yay Apple. Monday night, I didn’t know what to do with myself, and I didn’t want to sit around the house in fear of slipping, so I grabbed my guitar and backpack with music book stored inside, hopped on my motorcycle (I bet that looked funny) and drove to Volcano Joes for open mic night for the first time in months. I had a good time. They started late as usual and the place was not quite full of people, but by the time I went up to play, the place was pretty packed. When I got to the microphone, I had no idea what I was going to play. I asked the host if she had any suggestions, and she flipped to Wonderwall by Oasis and said, “Ooh, how about that one. This song is awesome.” Ok, so now I had one song to play. I needed two. So before I started playing the first song, I started to auction off my second song. I gave everyone a list of about 10 artists that I was considering. I got a great response. People started yelling out names and titles back and forth. It was great. I told them to think about it and I’d open the floor again after the first song. So I did. After “Wonderwall”, which was received very well, I went through the list again. Again, there were artists and titles yelled out. I picked up three prominent bands being yelled, so I asked for a raise of hands. Ok, 6 for Pearl Jam. 9 for Stone Temple Pilots. And 3 for Dispatch. “Looks like STP had it”. Once that was decided, people started yelling out song titles. And of course the one that was the most prominent was “Plush”. So that is what I sang. It’s funny, because when I pick the songs, that is kind of what happens within my own head. Only having them decide makes it more so that they will enjoy the song. I got to listen to the most awesome ukulele player I have ever heard or seen. It was amazing. His fingers floated over the strings in a way that made it look like they didn’t match what was playing. It was amazing. The sounds that came out of that instrument. Wow. Just amazing. So only 6 days until Halloween. 3 days until the Saint Andrews society Halloween party. I don’t have a costume yet. Hmmmm. Looks like I’ll have something else to do to keep me busy for the next 3 days. Keeping busy is a hard thing to do. Right now, having spare time at home is not the greatest thing for me. Must keep busy. So that is me right now. How this post reads is about how things have been going in my head. That is only sort of true. You wouldn’t be able to understand my blog if I was able to get everything down that goes on up there. But this is the filtered version of things. Enjoy.